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A buck an ear

How much does a pirate pay for corn on the cob?

Not only is it terrible, it’s terrible

I bought the world’s worst thesaurus yesterday

But I decided against it because I thought it would be two in tents

I wanted to go camping with a friend of mine...

That way, when you criticize them, you’ll be a mile away, and you’ll have their shoes

Never criticize someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes...

One looks at the other and says, “You know how to drive this thing?!”

Two goldfish are in a tank